What we want for ourselves and especially our children is “happiness”. Not a trivial thing – especially if everything else such as health, love, freedom, independence etc. seem to be supporting aspirations.

Relationships

The relationships we have and the people we surround ourselves with is a reflection of who we are. In this the cliche is applicable that it is not quantity but quality that is important. One of the most difficult aspects that many persons with disabilities have to negotiate is to be able to participate in ’normal’ society. Our daughter’s weekly routine consists mostly of a variety of therapies and thus these also form the basis of most of her relationships.

Each of us have unique characteristics and traits and through our interactions with others we learn and grow. We need to surround ourselves with people from different spheres of life, echelons of society and points of view. Our thoughts expand, our points of view are broadened and our souls grow. Experiencing the caring interactions of the therapists with Monique brought home the realisation that she not only receives value but adds value in her various relationships.

Simply sharing who we are is the basis of mutually beneficial relationships.

The body vs the soul

Many people query the variety and the effectiveness of the various therapies Monique has on a weekly basis as we often regard therapies in a purely physical level. Something is broken and needs to be fixed. We stretch a muscle and we go to the physiotherapist for a couple of sessions and injuries are healed. With a disabled person there is not necessarily something that is damaged that can be fixed. The body does not operate optimally and thus over year’s additional physical challenges manifest itself as the muscles grow weaker, become stiffer and lack of movement and poor posture affect bone structures and so there is an inherent requirement for continuous physical therapy. Our bodies are an important part of us, but none of these are the main reason why I persist in sending our daughter to her various therapies.

We should not always be driven to achieve a goal, but allow ourselves and others to sometimes simply do something for the sake of the experience itself.

The warmth of humanity

I choose a variety of therapies many non-traditional and labelled as ‘alternate’ but not as some people suggest that I am desperately hoping for ‘healing’. Monique is a healthy well-balanced person who does not need ‘healing’ – as she is differently abled – not sick or broken. As humans we need other human interaction. We need touch. We sometimes need the firm and sometimes not so gentle manipulation of our muscles from physiotherapists, but we also need all kinds of different interactions with other persons. Gentle healing touches and massages that also filter through to our emotions and spirit. Simple interactions where the humanity of both therapist and ‘patient’ meet. Many of us experience an extent of this form of human interaction in often unnoticed small doses through our daily interactions, such as the handshake, a friendly pat on the shoulder or a hug from a friend.

We need to allow ourselves to experience the simple warmth of other people’s innocent humanity.

Social interaction

A variety of relationships are an integral part of our daily routines and for people with disabilities these opportunities are often limited. We do not always have to be an active participant in social interactions to benefit from them. Daily therapies offer this type of opportunity where Monique meets a variety of people where she is greeted with a smile from the therapist, can listen to the conversation between the therapist and her facilitator and often also has short exposure to the other patients that come and go from their therapy sessions. Social interaction feeds our soul and takes us out of our limited sphere into that of the greater whole of society.

Being part of something does not always mean having to actively participate – there are times when we can simply be allowed to “be”.

To Be

To be happy is “to be” – to experience – to grow relationships. It does not matter where this happens, we must simply allow ourselves to let it happen, whether it be at work, at home with strangers or with loved ones. We learn from each other –strength, determination, acceptance, love and trust. To allow ourselves and each other to become our own individual with a unique personality.

We all have challenges – we all have talents – sharing them is the greatest gift you can give

Reproduced with kind permission of Judi Meyer, June 2017